Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Innocent Questions

1) NUDITY


I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.


She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"


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2) OPINIONS


On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.


The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."


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3) KETCHUP


A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.


During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."


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4) MORE NUDITY


A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.


When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.


The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"


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5) POLICE # 1


While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform,


She asked, "Are you a cop?" Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right? "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"


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6) POLICE # 2


It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment,


My K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said," What'd he do?"


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7) ELDERLY


While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.


One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"


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8) DRESS-UP


A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."


"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."


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9) DEATH


While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.


Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting , then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."


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10) SCHOOL


A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother .. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"


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11) BIBLE


A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.


Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. ; ; "What have you got there, dear?"


With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

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10 Reasons Why God Created Eve

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because he knew men would never ask directions.


9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don't want to see what's on television, they want to see what else is on television.


8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for him.


7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctors appointment for himself.


6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.


5. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would have to be someone to bear children, because men would never be able to handle it.


4. As "Keeper of the Garden" Adam would never remember where he put his tools.


3. The scripture account of creation indicates that Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.


2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone." He only ends up getting himself in trouble.


AND the #1 REASON WHY GOD CREATED EVE is ...



1. When God had finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head and said, "I know I can do better than THIS!!"

Blonde's Year In Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.


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February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....



Helllloooo!! !.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!! !


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March - Got really excited..... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2-4 years!"


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April - Trapped on escalator for hours..... Power went out!!!


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May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.... .wrong instructions. ... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!


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June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.


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July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition. ....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!


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August - Got locked out of my car in rainstorm... ..car swamped because soft-top was open.


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September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???


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October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.


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November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.


Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!


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December - Couldn't call 911...."duh"........ there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!



What a year..!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008








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Halloween Cakes

























Creative Business Card Designs

Something that I received from my mail


























1s day

my first day at TMNet cyberjaya (praktikal)... hmm its ok lar
nothing much to do, goyang kaki jer so far
but after lunch my supervisor nak bagi kerja. mayb terlebih goyang kaki dah kot dats y dia nak bagi keja
hahahaha..x sabar weekend, nak cuti. (baru je start keja, nak cuti lak) =p
neway, wish me all the best.
still in process making friends (not to say they sombong but aku x dak modal nak ckp apa) =(
till then... cptla jumaat
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